Whelp, I’ve gone and done it again. I done registered a domain, installed WordPress to said domain, and started a very bare bones blog. Now that’s just the first part, though. The real kicker comes in when I’m laying in bed a month later realizing I paid that money for the domain and all that, and proceeded to do absolutely nothing with it. I know we all say this about everything these days, but that’s so me. ded.
Every twelve to eighteen months I get the itch to start a blog. It’s not like I’m trying to make something of it, it’s more something just for me. Less of a jumping off point and more of a place for me to just put thoughts down around games I’ve played, books I’ve read, and generally just things I’ve experienced. Sometimes I just think about it, other times I get as far as I did this time in setting up everything, very few times do I actually write anything, though. Who knows if I’ll even publish this?
This time it all started with Resident Evil Requiem, a game that, if you knew me, you would not think I’d buy, play, or even enjoy on account of me being a total baby. Despite some incredibly tense moments where I was muttering “ohgodohgodohgod” under my breath more than Grace, I loved that game. I loved that game so much I had to write about it. Where’s my thoughts on it, though, you ask. Well, they’re currently half…ok a quarter……ok only like a tenth written up in an untitled document I’ve had sitting open on my desktop for about two months now.
It’s the same with Pragmata, its the same with Pokemon Red, It’s the same with Forza Horizon 6, it’s honestly the same with everything. Grandiose ideas fill my head, only for me to never actually act on any of them. If I do act on them, I get about as far as registering that domain or the equivalent in whatever hobby I’m eager to immerse myself in.
An amazing bass guitar that I haven’t touched in probably three months now is sitting behind me. There’s a camera in a drawer in a cabinet next that I used to use a lot and bring on every vacation with me. Do I ever take pictures with it when we go to the beach or state parks? Have you been reading anything I’ve written so far?
Life gets in the way of it all, ya know? I have to work this soul sucking job, the kids have to get to school and their extra curriculars, everyone’s gotta eat and this damn cat can’t stop from eating himself to death so he has to get 4 individual meals each day. So what if I do all those things and longingly look at my bass or camera while I instead turn on Reno 911 and stare at my phone before bed? If that’s not the picture of good mental health then I don’t know what is. Plus, it’s not like I haven’t allocated my skill points to any attributes in my life. I consider myself to be a half decent home cook. Do I cook meals to broaden my horizons and try new things? I mean, yeah…just, like, once every other month. Oh god.
I want to be better, though, and that has to count for something, right? During the pandemic I came to believe we’re all not protagonists in the world and the world would be a better place if more people realized that and just lived their lives. That’s what I’m doing, right? It’s also not like I’m going to be like this forever. Sure I can point to ways in which I’ve been like this throughout my whole life, but that just means I’m due for turning a corner.
Whew, that did not go where I expected in would. That said, look at this length. Yes, I used to be able to bang out 10 pages of garbage for a paper in college like it was nothing, but we gotta build that muscle back up. I guess all this is to say I really want to get back to writing. I’d love to be the person that just writes something every few days. Who cares if nobody sees it, I did something.
I did something.